It's been awhile since my last "this old married life" post and I have just the perfect thing to talk about today.
Marriage is all about compromise, or at least that's what everyone says. I rapidly learned that this saying is 100% true and accurate. Marriage means you compromise about EVERYTHING. Today I'm just going to focus on compromise and the art of managing two schedules.
This is what our table looked like yesterday when I sat down to work on many different things. I got out my planner and started making my to do list for the day. There were bills to pay, brainstorming new products for knitcole, several phone calls to make, party planning, photo editing and then there was our schedule. It's almost like balancing the checkbook or some complex math problem; Husband + Wife = (Places to Go + People to See) x 2
Mr. Coleman and I struggle with this particular issue a lot, how do we manage both of our schedules and fit in the many commitments and fun things we want to. I have a much harder time saying no to things than he does and this results in me over committing both of us to various things that Mr. Coleman may not also feel obligated to attend.
Sometimes I dread opening the mailbox. I love getting mail and packages but it feels like we get a new invitation in the mail at least once a week. (It's probably not that often but that's how it feels.) Being invited to lots of things is fun and it makes you feel special but then when I go to look at my calendar it becomes a juggling act. How do we manage all of our commitments and still squeeze in the fun things for us?
Mr. Coleman and I had to sit down and talk about this particular issue because he was getting overwhelmed. He didn't like having every minute of every weekend taken up with events and then all of his weekdays taken up with school. He was stressed out which was also stressing me out and I was suddenly feeling bad for wanting to attend all of these different events.
We had to come to a compromise to keep us both sane! Mr. Coleman decided that he would work harder on not being angry about always having things to do and I said that I would try harder to say no to things. It's been working out. Mr. Coleman expresses less irritation at always being busy which helps me feel better when we talk about things that have to get done; and I have been saying no to the things I feel like I can say no to instead of trying to cram in everything which makes Mr. Coleman a happier man with a freer schedule.
I've also started doing some of the things that I still want to say yes to on my own. Being married I like having Mr. Coleman at events with me but I admit that there are some that I either know he won't enjoy or doesn't really have the time for so I've started going to those things without him. Don't get me wrong, we both have to compromise and go to things that maybe wouldn't be each others first choice with one another but we also can go to some of the other things that we know the other one won't enjoy without them. Don't assume if one of us comes alone to your shindig that the other one didn't want to attend, haha. Sometimes we really are busy!
So while balancing two schedules can be really tiresome and stressful at times, (I will admit that this is largely my fault,) we are working on making our schedules a little simpler and taking out the things we can so we can work in the things we want to without feeling like we are cramming our lives way too full. It's going to take time but our little compromises have already made a huge difference.
Where and how do you compromise on your busy schedules?
Nicole
